The Bully Inside you

"Love me for me." We hear and read those words on a daily bases. We hear them in song lyrics, we read them from facebook posts, and even books. Many people use these words for relationships or friendships, but do we really think about how it should start? "Love me for me," should start with ourselves. No one can do it for you. This lies within you.


I've been struggling with this issue for quite sometime now. Being a girl, it seems worse to deal with. We girls can be so hard on ourselves. Whether it be consciously or unconsciously, we continually compare ourselves to each other. Then when we are faced with disappointment of not being the same as someone, we start focusing on what we aren't.


Watching my niece grow up I spend lots of time watching princess movies, the very same ones I watched as a child. Having watched them now as an adult, God has shed some light on them.


Cinderella for instance, there is a scene that Cinderella's animal friends gathered lots of accessories from around the house and added it to her party dress for the ball. Cinderella finished sewing her dress and adding the accessories to it. She was ready for the ball. Feeling accomplished and happy with herself, She was dressed and ready to go but when the evil stepmother saw all the added touches to the dress, she was quickly reminded of where she had seen them before....the stepsisters old things they had thrown out. With this the girls immediately tore and slashed every single piece of her dress. Cinderella was heartbroken.





We could use this scene to put into our lives. Here's how I've thought about it. The "accessories" from Cinderella's friends can be like complements given to us by our friends and acquaintances. Her party dress she stitched together is ourselves. We are all are open to adding things to ourselves to make us happy. Meeting up with her stepsisters, wearing her dress with all her added accommodations is us going out into the world, self-confident with our compliments kept in mind. The stepmother (one jealous or angry person) reminds us of our flaws. In the story she reminds the stepsisters of their old things that Cinderella has added on her dress. That to me represents someone pointing out flaws to people in front of you. After realizing this in the story, the girls tear and rip the dress to shreds out of anger. This reminds me of how we start tearing ourselves down inside to where we feel like nothing special anymore but heartbroken.

"Once we are reminded of what we aren't, it's hard to want to be something we are."

Once we are reminded of what we aren't, it's hard to want to be something we are.
I was told once that it takes two positive thoughts to overcome one negative thought. That's how powerful our thoughts are. Especially how we think about ourselves.

"I use to think that loving yourself was selfish."

I use to think that loving yourself was selfish. No. Loving yourself is a step to loving someone else.How can we love others, if we can't love ourselves? I've seen many relationships, friendships as well, where they were destroyed because of this key concept.


It's up to us to accept who we are both on the inside and the outside. Accept all our good points, our character, AND our flaws. Instead of wanting to be like someone else, change your way of thinking to wanting to be just you. Change your thoughts on your view about your outside appearance. Instead of "flaws," they are the differences that set you uniquely apart from other people. Striving to be the same as someone is only wasting time from being able to see the real you. Focus on the points in your character that make you, you. You will be amazed at how much you start loving life and how open your sights are in situations as well.

"I realize that spending so much time hating on myself is only wasting the time I have."

It took me a long while to start switching my thinking and I still have problems occasionally with beating myself down, but praying that I see what God sees in me actually helps me to see my self as beautiful inside and outside. I realize that spending so much time hating on myself is only wasting the time I have. I have come to understand this, I'm the only me in this world. So why not embrace it?

"I'm the only me in this world."

"So why not embrace it."