The Bully Inside you

"Love me for me." We hear and read those words on a daily bases. We hear them in song lyrics, we read them from facebook posts, and even books. Many people use these words for relationships or friendships, but do we really think about how it should start? "Love me for me," should start with ourselves. No one can do it for you. This lies within you.


I've been struggling with this issue for quite sometime now. Being a girl, it seems worse to deal with. We girls can be so hard on ourselves. Whether it be consciously or unconsciously, we continually compare ourselves to each other. Then when we are faced with disappointment of not being the same as someone, we start focusing on what we aren't.


Watching my niece grow up I spend lots of time watching princess movies, the very same ones I watched as a child. Having watched them now as an adult, God has shed some light on them.


Cinderella for instance, there is a scene that Cinderella's animal friends gathered lots of accessories from around the house and added it to her party dress for the ball. Cinderella finished sewing her dress and adding the accessories to it. She was ready for the ball. Feeling accomplished and happy with herself, She was dressed and ready to go but when the evil stepmother saw all the added touches to the dress, she was quickly reminded of where she had seen them before....the stepsisters old things they had thrown out. With this the girls immediately tore and slashed every single piece of her dress. Cinderella was heartbroken.





We could use this scene to put into our lives. Here's how I've thought about it. The "accessories" from Cinderella's friends can be like complements given to us by our friends and acquaintances. Her party dress she stitched together is ourselves. We are all are open to adding things to ourselves to make us happy. Meeting up with her stepsisters, wearing her dress with all her added accommodations is us going out into the world, self-confident with our compliments kept in mind. The stepmother (one jealous or angry person) reminds us of our flaws. In the story she reminds the stepsisters of their old things that Cinderella has added on her dress. That to me represents someone pointing out flaws to people in front of you. After realizing this in the story, the girls tear and rip the dress to shreds out of anger. This reminds me of how we start tearing ourselves down inside to where we feel like nothing special anymore but heartbroken.

"Once we are reminded of what we aren't, it's hard to want to be something we are."

Once we are reminded of what we aren't, it's hard to want to be something we are.
I was told once that it takes two positive thoughts to overcome one negative thought. That's how powerful our thoughts are. Especially how we think about ourselves.

"I use to think that loving yourself was selfish."

I use to think that loving yourself was selfish. No. Loving yourself is a step to loving someone else.How can we love others, if we can't love ourselves? I've seen many relationships, friendships as well, where they were destroyed because of this key concept.


It's up to us to accept who we are both on the inside and the outside. Accept all our good points, our character, AND our flaws. Instead of wanting to be like someone else, change your way of thinking to wanting to be just you. Change your thoughts on your view about your outside appearance. Instead of "flaws," they are the differences that set you uniquely apart from other people. Striving to be the same as someone is only wasting time from being able to see the real you. Focus on the points in your character that make you, you. You will be amazed at how much you start loving life and how open your sights are in situations as well.

"I realize that spending so much time hating on myself is only wasting the time I have."

It took me a long while to start switching my thinking and I still have problems occasionally with beating myself down, but praying that I see what God sees in me actually helps me to see my self as beautiful inside and outside. I realize that spending so much time hating on myself is only wasting the time I have. I have come to understand this, I'm the only me in this world. So why not embrace it?

"I'm the only me in this world."

"So why not embrace it." 

Butterfly It!

Researching butterflies was one of the neatest things I did this week. I learned a lot about them in detail that was quite inspiring. I have always loved butterflies, and when I saw them I would see their varied beauty all around my mom's flowers. I have come to realize how much I took them for granted in the past. I'd think to my self, what a beautiful butterfly, and move on about my day. No thought to how much their life stages can be just like ours with our faith.

I recently came across this quote by Deborah Chaskin,

"Just like a butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time."

So I stopped and thought about that for a moment. Then it hit me..."This is my next blog."

 A Butterfly's Life Stage: (provided by www.thebutterflysite.com)
 Stage 1- The Egg: A butterfly starts life as a very small, round, or cylinderical egg. The egg shape depends on the butterfly that laid the egg.
Our Faith Stage 1: Being a Christian, rather it's born and raised or newly found, our faith starting out is that of a butterfly egg. It is small and still, sitting within our comfortable being. We all have the same God we are following but we have different life stories to provide the world, that God has given us in our lives. Some experiences provide different aspects to parts of our faith. (different egg shape= different situations that affects our faith)
Stage 2: Caterpillar or Butterfly Larve: When the egg hatches, the caterpillar will start his work and eat the leaf they were born onto. Caterpillars do not stay in this stage for very long and mostly in this stage all they do is eat. The mother butterfly needs to lay her eggs on the type of leaf the caterpillar will eat- since thay are tiny and can not travel to a new plant, the caterpillar needs to hatch on the kind of leaf it wants to eat. The more they eat the more they instantly start growing and expanding. Their exoskeleton (skin) does not stretch and grow so they grow by "molting" (shedding the outgrown skin) several times while it grows.
Our Faith Stage 2: The way we are raised and who we surround ourselves with, affects us in different aspects. We absorb everything that is around us, (plant the butterfly eats). No matter what we are around: good, bad, happy, sad, angry, silly, or scared people; we too, take on those characteristics because it is right infront of us. Until we can be leaders to others for God and followers of Him, (Butterflies) we have experiences with the whole "rubbing off of or on" others. Either the good in us expands and grows, or the bad can. I have found that the more I'm around Godly people, the more "that energy" comes off onto me and the more I am wanting to know of Him and the Bible, and share what God is doing and has done for me. God didn't say being a Christian was going to be easy, just as he told the caterpillar it wasn't going to be straight-up butterfly when it was born. Our faith has to be worked and put through stages, just as that little caterpillar does to become that beauty of a butterfly. We have to grow by making mistakes along the way, (our exoskeleton).  Like the exoskeleton,we can not grow or expand with it. This being, we cannot keep repeating our old mistakes and grow, so we need to let go of them, learn from them, and put them in the past. Just as the butterfly sheds it's skin during the "molting" stage.
Stage 3: Pupa (Chrysalis) The pupa Stage is one of the coolest stages of a butterfly's life. As soon as a caterpillar is done growing and they have reached their full/weight they form themselves into pupa, also know as a chrysalis. From the outside of the pupa, it looks as if the caterpillar may just be resting, but the inside is where all of the action is. Inside the pupa, the caterpillar is rapidly changing. Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation, called "metamorphosis",to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge.
Our Faith Stage 3: The Bible is our chrysalis. We need to relish in it everyday. When you do that you begin to see things differently, with a more open-heart than ever before. I've noticed that quite a bit myself. When you study the Bible, you show the different side that no one is used to in this world. People may look at you weird because you react differently to any given situation because you see more to life than the little things that usually make people upset. Therefore, it looks like you are just letting people walk all over you (caterpillar resting) when in reality you are getting stronger inside for God. Your old ways are fleeing from you and are making you a beauty for God.
Stage 4: Adult Butterfly When the butterfly first emerges from the chrysalis, both of the wings are going to be soft and folded against its body. This is because the butterfly had to fit all it's new parts inside the pupa. As soon as the butterfly has rested after coming out of the chrysalis, it will pump blood into the wings in order to get them working and flapping- then they get to fly! When this final stage of their lives are completed adult butterflies are constantly on the look out to reproduce and when a female lays their eggs on some leaves the butterfly cycle will start all over!
Our Faith Stage 4: This is our time to shine brightly for God. Getting out of our comfortable self and start breaking out for others to see what God is really about! When we break out and spread to others what we are experiencing and how God has guided us, been with us, and taken care of us; then we are seeds or, in the butterfly case, (planting eggs) in other people's lives. We can help make this a reoccurring cycle!

It might sound weird to compare our faith to that of a butterfly's life cycle, but I couldn't help thinking about it especially with spring coming our way soon! It's just amazing how His time is always perfect, and He knows when we are ready and able to do what He wants. God made us each beautifully different from everyone else, just as he did all kinds of colorful butterflies!

So keep being UnAshamed about who you are with God and have a wonderful Easter weekend! 

Dressing for God

You wouldn’t go to a job interview dressed in Hello Kitty flannel pajamas topped off with Scooby-Doo slippers would you? Most likely you would not. I mean you would want to look your very best! Leading in to my discussion, I love to watch the T.V. show, “What Not To Wear” on TLC to see all the transformations and study some tips that the hosts, Stacy and Clinton freely give you. We learn in this series of shows all the rules as well as tips to help make your wardrobe up-to-date and fashion- forward for all the seasons. The show hosts, combined with makeup artist and hair stylist help rearrange people’s lives with fresh makeovers that build their confidence up in life. To me, this is one of the greatest shows because not only do you see how people change their outside appearance, but you get to see them in a whole new light from the inside! Watching this show, I have noticed that those participating  need the makeover because they have completely given up on themselves, inside and out. Therefore they go through the motions of their everyday life and that’s about it. No more, No less. But as they begin processing the steps that the show provides for them, they start opening up  not only physically, but emotionally as well. Whether we like to believe it or not, the way we see ourselves in this world is the way others see us as well. Leading you to my next point…

On the show, we are shown some tips (below) on how to pick out a wardrobe that matches your personality, while staying within the guidelines for a correct fit to YOUR OWN body type.

Top 10 Style Rules For Your Wardrobe from TLC's “What Not to Wear”

1.  Know Who You Are
2. Look for Inspiration
3. Know What You Want to Accomplish
4. Accentuate Your Assets
5. Take a Style Lesson
6. Assess Your Current Wardrobe
7. Make a Few Changes
8. Stock Up on Wardrobe Essentials
9. Stay In Your Comfort Zone
10. Trust Your Instincts

Now the TLC’s website, www.tlc.com  explains each tip in detailed for the wardrobe purpose, but this list not only works for your body and how we use it to get our properly fit style. It applies along with our hearts as well. Here’s how I love thinking about them in the way of making over your heart:

1.      Know Who You Are- Remember you are a beautiful child of God and that no matter what, He will always love you unconditionally!

2.       Look for Inspiration- In your life, there will always be something that motivates you to be or act the way you want in a positive way. It can be in the form of a person, sport/activity, or book even. Just find what inspires you to live life fully!

3.       Know What You Want to Accomplish- Find what kind of a person you want to be. Think about your attitude towards life and figure out what you want out of it. Set goals to help you achieve it!

4. Accentuate Your Assets- Everyone has different positives in their hearts, personalities, and attitudes. Know YOURS and let those shine brightly out for others to see God in you!
5.  Take a Style Lesson- Read that Bible! You can make a lesson out of it every day and learn something totally new that God wants you to know! I sometimes just close my eyes, say a small prayer of what He wants me to learn that very day, and open the Bible up to some random page for it to be exactly what I needed!
6.  Assess Your Current Wardrobe- Research your heart! Make a list of Reflections on what has happened in your life, what God has done in it, and how you have dealt with good and bad situations. Address your strengths and weaknesses of your attitude and personality.

7.       Make a Few Changes- Make a list out of those traits you are not so fond of, those negative characteristics that you would like to change and are willing to take the steps to change them!

 

8.       Stock Up on Wardrobe Essentials- Surround yourself with positive people. People who influence you and make you feel that positive energy. Those are the ones who will help and support you through all the changes you want to make.

 

9.       Stay in Your Comfort Zone- Stay with God. He is THE BIGGEST comfort and has been mine since day one. Without Him I couldn’t do anything. Keep God as your comfort zone!

 

10.   Trust Your Instincts- In your heart, there is that small voice inside that helps you figure out what is honestly you, your true desires, and your conscience. Not anyone elses’!!!!

Just as we wouldn’t show up to that interview wearing those silly pajamas, we wouldn’t want to show God a “pajama” life. What I mean by that is just going through the motions in life instead of really living it. When we stick with God and change ourselves in the name of love, we feel happier and more loving towards ourselves and others. That is what our purpose for Him is to do, spread His love to others so we can band together! It's time we start looking our very best for God! As we go on towards another week, let’s change and don’t stick to the same rutted, old, baggy clothes of a lifestyle and pull out those style rules for our hearts' makeover!

With this, Jam to the tune “Rock what you Got” by Superchick and keep being UnAshamed about who you are with God! Have a wonderful weekend!

Believing in God: “Because of this”

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, because it is God’s power working unto salvation for everyone who believes: first to the Jew then to the Gentile." Romans 1:16

It is my mission in this blog to provide helpful information for living life, serving and loving God with humility and without shame.

            I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said or done but that’s the point in my blog. I want to spread what God has done in my life and what I have learned from all my situations. The dictionary definition of ashamed is this: Unwilling or restrained because of fear of shame, ridicule, or disapproval.................................

Believing in God:  “Because of this”
I wasn’t popular in High School. I was the quiet, Christian girl walking in the halls who believed in God and never fit in anywhere with my peers.  It was because of this, I would walk up to a conversation with friends and would hear, “Oh you don’t want to hear Bethany, with your virgin ears”, that would shut my mind off and I felt embarrassed that  I wasn’t “cool” enough to be one of those  who could listen in without the “intro” speech to the conversation. It was because of this, that I never got invited to parties,“Oh you wouldn’t have liked it because it wasn’t very good of us.” It was because of this, I’d get told, “I don’t want to tell you, you might think badly of me.”

After high school, I started my first year of college and what a rough year that was! Clinging to my Bible and God for comfort, I started realizing that my thinking was totally wrong all this time.  All along I had just wanted to fit in, belong somewhere in this world.  I mean sure, I’d put a good front on at times but I still felt like there was something missing deep inside. I had begun thinking it was my goal/ purpose in life to belong.

I look back at those years now and think to myself, my purpose in life was there all along. God had been showing me it the whole time. I just hadn’t been ready to see it. Now I see that it was because of God, that today I am happy with the decisions I chose not to do and still haven’t done.  I see now that it was because of God, I have a sense of true belonging that no one can take away from me. It is because of Him that I can sit here and write this blog about how my eyes are now open and my heart ready to be filled with His love.

Being a Christian, yes we are to stand out, but the tricky part: not for our own selves, for God. In the Bible we understand that all good comes from God. In other words, when we do good for others, God is working through us.  We would't be able to do good acts without Him.

 I have had comments to me stating that I didn’t need to prove to everyone that I was a “Christian.” At first I felt embarrassed, was THAT how I came off to people? That I was the important one? That is  not at all what I wanted people to see.  Unfortuately in this world there will be simple minds that don’t see the bigger picture, and they only want to critize you. They don’t understand the whole concept or you for that matter. I have come to realize this and just let people think what they want. God knows the whole picture of how I feel about Him and that’s all that matters. When I share my experiences and what I have been learning from being with God, I’m not doing it for everyone to look at me. I’m doing it for everyone to LOOK AT GOD and what He has done and can do. He wants us to share Him with everyone!

With this being said...pop in the song, “Outcast” from Kerrie Roberts and keep being UnAshamed about who you are with God! Have a great weekend!